Kiddobeans

Introducing...Newbie!!

What a difference two weeks makes!  Two weeks ago, we had no idea that such a little person as our baby boy, we'll call him Newbie, existed on the face of the earth.  Now, he is as much our child as Little Miss and Little Man.  It's one of the strange things about adoption...it can go so quick!  In all of the months of waiting (seven months for us on this adoption), during which you might hear from your social workers just two or three times, it is very hard to remember that placement with a new baby could be imminent.  Even though we had experience with Little Miss' adoption (a whopping six days notice) we were still floored when Newbie entered our lives with a scant seven days notice.  It's kind of hard to wrap your head around it when things go that fast! I'll give you a little more description of our placement and adjustment as I, well, adjust, but for now here is a timeline of how quickly an adoption can proceed.

Monday 8/11
I got a call from one of our social workers.  They had been working with a biracial little boy and his birthmom since before his birth.  Though he was six weeks old, he had been in the hospital all along because of exposure to a drug called methadone.  Given the withdrawal and potential complications from the drug (the social worker asked) did we want our profile shown to this birthmom?  After several frantic phone calls and a few google searches, we decided to be shown.

Wednesday 8/13
The birthmom chose us (!) and would like to meet us as soon as possible.

Thursday 8/14
We met the birthmom at 11am and everyone felt really comfortable.  The social worker, birthmom, and we all felt committed to seeing this adoption through, so we decided to visit Newbie in the hospital.  What a cutie!  His birthmom and our social worker stayed for about an hour, and Phil and I stayed for another two hours after that.  That evening, we even brought Phil's parents and brother over to see the baby. The kiddobeans got to see him through the window to the Special Care Nursery and became very excited.

Friday 8/15-Sunday 8/17
Phil and I juggled the care of the other kids so that we could tag-team up to eight or ten hours a day visiting Newbie in the hospital.  He was in the final stages of withdrawal and was being weaned from the morphine that was controlling his severe withdrawal symptoms.  During these few days, we also finished the nursery (so cute!) brought out and washed all of the baby toys and clothes, and had several frantic shopping trips to catch up on odds and ends that we still needed.  Exhausted, we finally asked my parents to take the two kiddobeans from Sunday night through Wednesday afternoon because it looked like we might be placed on Monday.  During these few days, we were living on faith and trust in the word of our birthmom because she was not going to relinquish her rights until he was released from the hospital.  Although we trusted her, knowing that she could change her mind (even though we didn't think she would) added to the emotional strain.

Monday 8/18
Placement!  We all signed papers and the baby was released from the hospital and placed in our arms at about 8pm.  We had a emotional and heartfelt meeting with his birthmom and decided to fully disclose our information (full name, address, phone number) in order to have a fully open relationship.

So here we are a week later still reeling from such a quick placement.  Somehow, no matter how prepared you think you are, you just can't prepare for parenthood to come in a seven day period.  It's just hard to wrap your mind around it.  So, for those of you beginning the process or languishing on profile--take heart!  Everything can change in the space of a week!

Shaohannah's Hope Adoption Grant

Well, we're in the middle of a busy July and finally getting things back to normal after a vacation, so I'm finally ready to get back to writing.  Do I have any readers left?  Thanks to you all who keep checking in!

No news on Newbie's arrival as yet, but I did want to let you know how things were going with our adoption grant application from Shaohannah's Hope (Steven Curtis Chapman's organization for financial assistance).  We completed the application on June 21.  Part of the application is filled out online, then some financial records, adoption home study, and a recommendation from our Pastor needed to be mailed in separately.  All of that stuff is now in, and we're just waiting to see if we'll be able to get a little financial boost (up to $3500). 

You never know, but I don't have really high hopes of us getting this grant.  I think (since we are a single-income family) that our salary is within an acceptable window to be considered, but our adoption costs are much lower than the average.  International adoptions can cost over $30,000; our adoption should run only about $12,000 since our Agency cuts some of its fees in the African American program.  With our costs being comparatively low, I don't know that we'll merit a grant.  Still, I'm glad we applied.  No  stone should be un-turned!  You never know what resource God will provide to make this adoption happen! 

Anyway, Shaohannah's Hope seems like a great organization.  I recommend applying if only because of the encouraging letter and booklet we received after our application was completed.  The 36-page booklet, entitled "Hope for the Journey: An Adoption Companion" is really great.  It has a 2-week "Devotional Guide" with Biblical references to adoption and caring for orphans.  Then it has Adoption Advice, Fundraising Tips, and Lessons from the Wait--different short paragraphs written by other adoptive families.  The tips range from things like "bring duct tape when traveling internationally" to "organize a walk-a-thon to raise money."  As I already mentioned, a lot of the focus seems to be on international adoptions, but I still found the devotionals to be a pick-me-up during my down moments and the tips and stories to be helpful and amusing.  One tip I'm taking to heart, make a "Time Flies" list of things, both practical and fun, that you want to do before the next little one arrives.  Focus on the time you have to get this stuff done rather than on the (potentially) long, long wait!

At the back are additional adoption resources, including other organizations that give adoption grants.  That's great because it's hard to tell from websites which foundations are legit, and which just want an easy way to get at your social security number.  I'm not sure if we'll be following through with any of the other organizations, but if we do I'll let you know.  In the meantime, give Shaohannah's Hope a try.  It's a real winner.

Hair Care Questions and Answers

In the past week or so, I have actually had two different transracial adoptive moms drop me a note to ask specific questions.  I cannot tell you how much it means to me that other moms out there are happening upon this little blog and finding the information helpful!  That is exactly what I had in mind when I started to write, and it means the world to me.  Once again, a reminder that I am not an expert, but merely a mom with a paltry (not quite) 3 years experience, so I'm open to additional suggestions from others.  For what they are worth, here are the questions and my take on the answers. 

1) What kind of sleep cap would you recommend for an infant, particularly in the summer?

Well, as I've mentioned, I did not even try to keep Little Miss in a cap when she was tiny, in large part because she was born in the middle of summer with a thick head of hair, so I figured she was warm enough already.  Still, no matter what time of year Newbie arrives, he will be capped at night in order to hopefully prevent the kind of monster bald spot we had with Little Miss.  An A-A friend suggested just tying a man's handkerchief around the little one's head, so that's worth a shot.  I'm hoping to use the kind of thin knit cap that they give newborns at the hospital.  If you have not had a biological child, try asking a friend if they have one of the hospital caps laying around that you could use.  Two different friends who gave me baby clothes included these caps with their bundles.  Or, if that doesn't work, look for a light-weight, stretchy cap in the baby bedding section of Target.  I have one with Pooh-bear ears on it...babies wearing hats with ears just make me happy.

2) How do you get Little Miss to sit still for 45 minutes to do her hair?

That has been a process, no doubt about it.  Little Miss had a lot of hair from the very beginning, and I had to start styling her hair at 6 months.  Believe me, at 6 months she was not sitting still.  In fact, at 24 months she wasn't really sitting still, and I was sure I was doing something wrong.  After all, all the folklore I've heard talks about hair braiding (etc) being such a time of bonding for mother and daughter.  Maybe it really was genetic and it was never going to work for me!  Not so.  It just takes time.  Find a time of day that works for your girl (remember, most of the styles survive being slept in, so they don't have to be done first thing in the morning), find a distraction technique that she likes, give her breaks when she needs it, and eventually you will work up to being able to do a 45 minute block of styling.

My first breakthrough came with a book called It's All Good Hair.  At the beginning of each chapter, there are first person accounts of different parents' struggles with hair care.  All moms of A-A daughters, whether biological or adopted, struggle with this.  One great suggestion from the book was to wash the girls' hair in the sink.  Removing hairwashing from bathtime made doing Little Miss' hair a lot less traumatic for her.  People have suggested doing it in front of the mirror because the little girls are enthralled with their own reflection;  I've used a hand mirror, and it worked pretty well.  Little Miss also likes to play with all of the "pretties" that I have sorted into little baggies (just ignore the mess and clean it up later), and she likes to be "just like Mommy" by taking a comb to one of her dollies.  Little Miss is not big into food, but I know some women comb out the hair over breakfast because the kids are distracted.  I've had great success with putting digital images on slideshow on our computer, then doing her hair while we watch our favorite photos scroll by.

But the number one distraction technique is, or course, TV.  Through the magic of Tivo, she gets to pick whatever show she wants.  If she gets up or struggles, I pause the show and remind her that we are watching TV right now as a special treat because we are doing her hair.  If she's not going to sit to have her hair done, then we are not going to watch TV.  It really works, and now, at 35 months old, I can get through a whole head of twists with only a reasonable amount of squirming.  I can even say that it is actually the bonding experience it was purported to be!

Transracial Adoption: From Home Depot to CNN

This has not been a great couple of days for this Mommy's self esteem.  First, I was approached twice this weekend by women offering suggestions for Little Miss' hair (hair-raising conversations).  I had been comment-free for almost a year.  True, the first time I was trying something new, and it didn't really look very good, but the second time I thought it looked fine!  Anyway, that's tough, though my loving hubby pointed out that both women went on to ask me questions about our family and adoption, so they may just have been looking for an "in" to get to know the family a little bit (or to be nosey).  Still, I'm considering whether or not it is time to take Little Miss in to get her hair professionally done.  I want to try an experiment anyway.  I have a theory that I'll still get some comments on Little Miss hair even if it is done by a pro, just because we are a conspicuous little family.  I'll let you know how that issue proceeds.

The second hair-raising conversation also involved a little bit of talk about transracial adoption.  The (African American) woman who initiated this conversation (in the Garden Center at Home Depot on Memorial Day--where of course I was completely prepared to discuss the finer points of transracial adoption and had Little Miss' hair done to the nines) was all supportive of our transracial family until she realized that Little Miss was not joining us out of foster care and that we were in fact actively pursuing a second African American adoption even though we had two little guys already.  The conversation remained polite on the surface, but was punctuated by some facial expressions of clear disapproval at times.  I thought it was a little rude. 

Then, I turn to CNN.com this morning and find that the transracial adoption issue has hit the front page.  The article is about DCFS's 1994 decision (the Multi-Ethnic Placement Act) to remove talk of race from the issue of foster care-to-adoption placement in order to encourage the placement of Black children.  It's under discussion because some maintain that White parents are not getting the training that they need to successfully raise a transracial family because race is not given enough consideration.  Also, adoption of Black kids waiting in foster care has not significantly increased, and more Black kids in transracial families experience self esteem problems as compared to same-race families.  I actually prefered the Washington Post version of this story because it made it clear that many of the self-esteem issues are related to skin color, so all children who are very dark (including those adopted internationally from places like Cambodia) can experience a sort of White-envy if they are not encouraged to embrace their own skin color.  This is not a Caucasian vs African-American issue. 

So, what do I think?  Well, first I want to point out that this does not affect my family directly because we are doing infant, agency adoption, not DCFS foster care adoption. My agency already requires transracial adoption training and has ongoing support for transracial adoptive families, and I think that is a good thing.  I think you've got to be willing to put yourself out there and talk to people about the weirdest things at the weirdest times if you are thinking about transracial adoption.  You've also got to be able to handle that stuff without making your kids feel self-consious and inferior.  That's hard.  It deserves at least a warning, if not actual training.  So, it should be part of the discussion.  At the same time, if we are going to say that Black kids are only going to be ok with Black parents, then we are not allowing this country to move forward.  We are forcing it to be a Caucasian vs African-American issue.

Funding Our Adoption--Grants and Fundraisers

With our Home Study officially and 100% done, Phil and I are now in a position to start applying for adoption grants.  Yes, there are such things, and they generally require that your Home Study be completed before you begin the application.  We estimate our adoption costs at a paltry $12,000--not bad considering most adoptions are $20,000 or more--but, still, it's not easy coming up with that chunk of change all at one go.  I've looked into several grants, but I am really only focusing on one.  For the next month, I'll be spending some time getting everything together for a grant from Shaohannah's Hope.  The couple of other grants I have looked into give preference to couples without children.  That's not us, so I'm passing over them.  Shaohannah's Hope does base its decisions on financial need, so that is not in our favor.  We are comfortably middle class and, as I said, our adoption is less expensive than most, so I'm not sure that we'll qualify.  Still, as a single income family which has already funded one adoption, I think I can make a case for a $2000.00 grant.

For our first adoption, we basically just saved for several months and wrote a check.  It wasn't easy to come up with that kind of money, but we saved half of my paycheck for almost a year and found ourselves able to cover not only the adoption expenses, but also a few unexpected birthmom expenses as well.  This approach also got our budget acclimated to a single income, meaning we did not take a lifestyle hit when I stopped working outside the home. 

For our second adoption, we are able to combine tax returns, contract projects outside of our normal work (for both Phil and me), a little bit of savings, and a series of online auctions to come up with most of what we need.  We are hoping for the grant because we are doing a little bit of "robbing Peter to pay Paul." We owe my parents some money because they loaned us the financial resources to complete our hideous construction project.  We are holding a bit of this loan aside to cover additional adoption expenses, but would like to get as much back to my parents as possible.  More money in the adoption fund means more can be returned on the loan.

Asking friends and family to donate objects that we could sell has worked well so far.  We've made about $800.00 by selling both the donations and our own items on CraigsList.  There are many organizations that have created fundraisers to help adoptive parents.  Sell magazine subscriptions, sell teddy bears, sell bracelets, sell T-shirts...and keep most of the proceeds to benefit your adoption.  There are even organizations that will help you set up a tax-exempt account so that financial donations from friends and family would not be subject to taxes.  An extensive transracial adoption blog (written by a different Erin) explains a lot of these options.  But, a good old fashioned garage sale (or our higher tech version) can still do wonders.  It never hurts to say "Hey, this is funding our adoption" on your advertising, either (though I don't think Phil has been doing this for our online auctions).

In funding any adoption, it is important to remember the government's Adoption Tax Credit.  You pay the money up front, but over several years, you can get up to $10,000 total back from the government.  This is not a refund, but a tax credit--basically you get all of the money you pay on taxes back (up to $10,000).  So, if you are using a Home Equity Line of Credit or a similar loan for part of your adoption, you can pay it back out of your Adoption Tax Credit.  You can start receiving the tax credits for taxes filed in the year your adoption is finalized, not the year you are placed with a baby.  We were able to use our Adoption Tax Credit (which we are still receiving in installments from Little Miss' adoption in 2005--which was finalized in 2006) to meet all of the initial expenses of beginning our second adoption.

The adoption tax credit definetly got us started, but a little extra could go a long way for us, so I'll keep you posted on how it goes with Shaohannah's Hope.  Good luck to anyone out there in a similar situation!

Artificial Twinning--Who Knew?

Apparently, the official term for kids such as mine, siblings not biologically related who are less than nine months apart, is Artificial Twins.  I had no idea there was such a thing, nor that there have actually been articles written about Artificial Twinning.  Coincidentally, I found out by tracing a google search someone else made.  The search engine found a match on this very blog (to my article referencing the kiddobeans as Virtual Twins), resulting in a hit on my site.  I tracked back on the search and found these two other articles which discuss Artificial Twinning.  Neither was very encouraging.

The articles, found in an index at adopting.org, were written by an adoption specialist, Richard van Deelen,  and an advocate for infertile couples,  Patricia Irwin Johnston, respectively.  Both focus on the folly of intentionally creating Artificial Twins (also referred to as Pseudo Twins or Virtual Twins) either by double-duty adoption or by deliberately continuing fertility assistance while pursing adoption.  The fact is, of course, that Phil and I did neither of these things to result in our Artificial Twinning.  Little Miss was already placed with us when we were completely blindsided by the realization of Little Man's imminent arrival.  There was no collusion or deception, or even deliberately planning (unless you count God's deliberate plan), that resulted in our unique family.  Nevertheless, my defenses went up upon first reading the articles.  Who are these people to make judgments on my family, anyway!

That was my impression on the initial read-through.  After a second read, though, I had to admit that the articles had a real point.  In fact, it is the point that I am continually trying to make to people who think it's "so cute" to have the two little guys so close together or prospective adoptive parents who "hope it happens" to them.  Artificial Twinning is really, really hard on the parents!  You have kids at different development levels who are continually put in situations where they have to respond as if they are the same age.  You have two sets of early childhood needs to contend with, like multiple well-baby doctor visits, two babies who need to be hand fed, two babies needing attention during the night, and possibly even two sets of Early Intervention physical therapy.  You have constant attention from well-meaning strangers who are burning with curiosity about your family, leading to discussions of adoption and infertility in the most unlikely of places.  It's just not easy.  So, I guess since it's not a situation that I would recommend anyone to deliberately seek out, I can't get defensive when the experts agree with me.

Both articles make the point that parents who seek out a situation with Artificial Twins are probably acting from a desire (born of infertility) to secure a family asap, even if that involves multiple babies.  The experts say that these parents are not looking past the baby in their arms to the potential problems later as their family grows.  Only the second article, with the sobering title "Instant Family? The Case Against Artificial Twinning", actually ended on a positive note by offering advice for families like mine that want to thrive in this situation.  Two points I'm really going to consider are 1) Set clear boundaries on how you communicate with people about your family.  Not every question about adoption/infertility from a stranger or acquaintance deserves a super-detailed answer.  Kids want their privacy too.  2) Help the kids grow their separate identities by keeping them in different grades in school if possible.  That'll require some thought, but I am now once again leaning toward separating them in school.  We'll see.  I change my mind about every 5 minutes on this.

So there you go.  We're a sociological phenomenon.  Who knew?  Anybody out there also parenting Artificial Twins?  What's your story?  Anybody out there considering it?  I've decided that, looking past the defensiveness I feel at this implied criticism of my family, my advice has to be the same as the experts.  Don't seek it out.  It's tough on you and on the kids.  My own addition to the articles is--if you find yourself in that situation for one reason or another, embrace it.  There can be great blessings in having a unique family.  My hope is that Richard van Deenan and Patricia Irwin Johnston, realists that they are, might stumble on this site one day and get a perspective on the blessings as well as the challenges.  There is nothing "artificial" about the sibling and parental love in a unique family like mine.

Home Visit--Check!

I am so glad to finally have our Home Visit finished!  Everything else on the adoption check list has been done for a while, but the home visit had to be postponed at the last minute due to our social worker's nasty bout with bronchitis.  But now it's done and, except for a few little bits of paperwork that slipped through the cracks, so are we!  Nothing to do now but wait.  Phase I (Training/Paperwork) took from mid-January to mid-April.  Now on to Phase II (The Wait), and hopefully before too long we'll be able to bask in the excitement of Phase III (Placement!).

Going in to our first adoption, the Home Visit sort of loomed above us as this big invasive terror.  Phil's parents, who have two children through adoption, did not have a great experience with the social worker who did their Home Visit (not associated with our Agency), so we definitely approached it with trepidation the first time around.  How close was the social worker going to look?  Were dust bunnies going to prevent us from getting a baby?  The answer, of course, is "no."  Dust bunnies are not really on our social worker's radar.  I took away from that first experience One Great Truth--the social workers are on our team.  They want us to be available for placement both for our own sakes and for sake of the birthmoms with whom they work.  They want the birthmoms to have the widest range of qualified families available so that the women making this selfless decision can make the best choice possible.

So, what is on our social worker's radar?  A clean, ventilated, healthy home environment (with or without the dust bunnies is fine); Adequate bedroom and living space (40 square feet per child--remember that's a room that is as small as 5'x8'); Smoke detectors and a fire evacuation plan; Safe, child-proof locations for cleaning supplies and prescription medications; A willingness to meet the DCFS requirements for accurate records and post-placement visits from our social worker until the adoption is finalized six months after placement.  T hat's really it. 

Now, you would think that having experienced one Home Visit already and having a really clear idea of exactly what was required, that I would not be worried about the Home Visit this time around.  You'd think that I wouldn't be cleaning under the beds and making sure there were no dishes in the sink.  You'd think that I'd allow a little toddler mess to sneak into the rooms that I had just cleaned.  You'd think I wouldn't obsess.  And yet, do you think that's what I did?  Of course not.  I obsessed.  But, to anyone out there considering adoption or perhaps knee-deep in the Homestudy and awaiting the Home Visit I give you this advice.  Don't obsess.  It's taken me (at least) two go-rounds to learn that lesson, but hopefully you are wiser than I am!

Please, Please, Please Behave!

Phil and I were at our Agency yesterday for a meeting with our social worker.  We discussed our extended families, our child care plans, our discipline patterns, our roles as parents, our kids, etc.  It was very much what we expected, and is our second to last meeting.  At the end of the month we have our Home Visit. 

Anyway, my social worker was very complimentary about the kiddobeans behavior.  I brought them to the Agency to drop off some paperwork a couple of weeks ago and they were thoroughly charming and angelically well behaved.  Thank goodness!  If I were ranking places that I would want the kids to behave, I think "at the Adoption Agency" would be number 1.  You really want your Adoption Agency to think that you have good kids (and thus good parenting)!!  That made me think of other places that I would like the kids to behave.  Obviously stores and restaurants are public and important, but my top five had other considerations, too.   

Here are my Top Five Places You Want Well-Behaved Kids:

5.  The Library
The embarrassment of temper tantrums in public is only heightened when everyone around you is reading quietly.
4. At the House of A Friend Who Has Just Had A Baby
Unfortunately, I know this embarrassment from experience.  Just when you want to encourage a friend through those first hard months, your toddlers are getting into everything and generally wreaking havoc on the poor, tired new mom's house (that she has probably cleaned especially for your benefit).
3. Weddings and Funerals
Not only can the kids be disruptive in front of dozens of strangers and relatives, but also it usually important to both parents to witness and/or participate in the service.  Uncooperative kids make this impossible!
2. With Great-Grandparents
In addition to wanting to impress out of town relatives with my parenting prowess, I also genuinely want to make a pleasant visit for Phil's and my grandmas.  Well behaved kids are a must!
1. Of course, At My Adoption Agency
They hold our future children in their hands, can I be forgiven for wanting to impress?

Anybody want to add to the list so we can make a nice round Top Ten?  What are your "please-oh-please-oh-please behave" places?

Adoption Update

Monday was a banner day in the pursuit of our second adoption.  We finished our nine hours of required classes and our now eligible to be certified as foster parents in the State of IL.  Interesting and informative as the classes were, I'm glad to be done with them.  The timing of the classes is just horrible for people with little kids at home.  I'm not griping too much, because I think that the majority of people choosing adoption are not having to consider their two-year-olds' bedtimes.  I think that's just us.  In fact, the majority of people choosing adoption would probably be mildly annoyed to hear anyone complaining about making the class schedule work when you have two two-year-olds at home, so I've been trying to keep my mouth shut in public!  Yet, the fact remains that attending three classes required for both parents from 7:00-10:00 in the evening is pretty rough in the child care department. 

For those of you who are really interested in how adoptions work, I'll provide a recap.  We started this whole thing in January.  We have already completed the application, the paperwork nightmare of the Homestudy Packet, and the three three-hour classes that provide great insight and information on adoption as well as giving us the nine hours of class time required to be foster parents in the State of IL.  (We need to be certified as foster parents because it takes six months after we are placed with the baby before we are legally finalized in the court system.  Although the birthmom has already signed a permanent and irrevocable surrender of her rights and our placement is considered permanent, we are technically foster parents during those six months).  We have put in $4,500.00 so far and (important reminder!) this money and all the money that will be put toward the adoption covers legal fees, pays the salaries of the social workers advocating for us, and helps cover medical expenses and counselling for birthmoms.

What's next?  Well, next week we have a meeting with our social worker as a couple to discuss any issues or concerns she may have.  Last time, we talked about mourning our infertility, any family tensions in the immediate or extended family, what we each saw as our role as parents, etc.  For the first adoption, there were a minimum of three visits, one as a couple and one each in which the social worker saw us separately, so we're getting to cut back a bit on that.  We're really a ridiculously well-adjusted family, so I don't know what we're going to talk about this time.  At the end of March, we are going to have our Home Visit.  Our social worker will come out to our house and make sure it's safe.  This sounds like a huge deal, but it wasn't that bad last time.  She's looking for things like smoke detectors and secure locations for medications and household cleansers. She's not looking under the bed to see if you're a good housekeeper, or ridiculous things like that.  We will have finished all of the necessary background stuff to be qualified as adoptive parents by the end of March.  After that, all we have to do is wait.

I'm trying to be as transparent as possible throughout the adoption process in the hopes that this will help people considering either parenting through adoption or potentially making an adoption plan for their newborns.  If you have questions, please please please ask in "comments" or send me an email.  I promise I'll answer!

Another Adoption Update

We had our second (of three) adoption classes on Monday night.  This class had very interesting information on the history of adoption and a lot of information/discussion on openness and relationships with birthparents.  That was a really good review.  All  birthparents are not the same, and it was a good reminder to listen to the various suggestions and real-life examples as we prepare to meet another birthmom (or birthparents) within the next several months.

I'm now back to thinking we're looking at a few months at the very least before we will be referred to a birthmom, though I don't know this for sure.  At the very least, if we were going to be placed with a baby this February, I think we would have heard by now!  It's really all good.  I gave this whole family-building thing to God about 2 1/2 years ago, so I'm confident that He is controlling this whole thing.  That's great, because I have absolutely NO control.  So, I'd say we could still be placed this Spring, but since I haven't heard anything from my social worker lately I'm sure it could go into the Summer or even Fall. 

As soon as I pick up the kids' medical forms from their doctor, we will have our Homestudy Packet ready to role.  Phil and I had our well-visits and blood tests a couple of weeks ago, and got our forms back yesterday.  They were pretty pokey getting them signed!  I'm running into trouble with the kids' forms because the pediatrician they usually see is only in our office once a week.  That slows everything up.  I really want to hand the whole thing in this Monday at our last class, so I'm pushing them to get it all done by then.  At least I didn't have to get additional well-visits for the kids--their most recent appointments are within the last 11 months, so they're all good.  I do have to say that Phil and I were another story--we don't tend to go for well-visits until the adoption paperwork requires it!  That makes two visits each in the last three years.

So, what's next after we complete the classes?  Last time, we had a series of meetings with our social worker both one-on-one and as a couple.  This was to address any issues with our family background, our parenting plans, and our feelings about infertility.  Given that our social worker now knows us pretty well (and knows that we are so well-adjusted that its actually boring) I'm not sure if we'll have to do that again.  We might get to skip ahead to the Home Visit, where the social worker comes to our home and makes sure we have an appropriate living environment for a baby.  More on the particulars of that when the time comes.